1. How many times do you have to be asked a question before it qualifies as an FAQ?

Don’t worry about it.

2. Did you intend to do (insert symbolic imagery, theme, and/or literary allusion) on purpose?

Probably! Like you, I am very clever. Also, I wrote it, so there’s a good chance I did it intentionally. For instance, you may have noticed the influence of Lovecraft’s, “The Nameless City” outside of the quote I pulled.

I have no memory of ever reading “The Insects from Shaggai” by Ramsey Cambell. But I read a lot of short stories and my memory is bad. So, who knows.

3. Why are so mean to Lovecraft while stealing his mythos?

Am I really that mean? I’m pretty tame, I think.

Lots of people write in Lovecraft’s world. Everyone knows he was racist. I doubt I’m the first to put the two together. Besides racists deserve to be called racist, and I hope his wimpy little ghost is huffing and puffing about it.

You can guess at what authors are afraid of by what they write into their horror. Grady Hendrix is afraid of bugs crawling in his ears. Stephen King fears teeth and cancer. R.L. Stine has a thing about garbage disposals. All of these things are objectively terrifying in the right circumstances. Lovecraft was terrified at the thought that humans weren’t the center of the universe. Of course we’re not. We never were. Get your shit together, Howard.  (Yes, yes, it’s more complicated than that. I don’t care.)

4. I would like to argue about abortion because you are wrong.

Nah.
Also, that’s not a question.

5. But you contradict yourself! You forgot to answer this question!

I didn’t forget. This is cosmic horror. That was intentional.

6. Did anyone actually ask you these questions?

No comment. I definitely have never ever interviewed myself once in my whole life.